Category Archives: Features

The Last Temptation of Jason Reinhardt.

The Last Temptation of Jason Reinhardt.

By: Pierre Stapleton

We’ve all seen it a million times. The lobby of the fighter hotel, jam-packed with combatants and eager fans alike. All a pile of souls milling about looking for either the elevator or an autograph, but for one lackluster UFC fighter-this was his “moment”.

Amidst the pre-fight chaos, MMA veteran Jason Reinhardt was sitting in the corner hashing out his game plan, talking about the wild world of wonder and possibilities, the epic “can’s and can’t dos” with his team of consultants.

To the layperson it would appear that Reinhardt was actually sitting alone, but MMA Gonzo has it on solid authority from “sources close to the situation” that Reinhardt was conversing with several of his inner-personalities.

The conversation was intense, noticeable from Reinhardt’s wild-frenzy driven eyes, and from the basic skills of observation it became obvious he had come to terms with what had to be done. There would be no Hosannas on this day for it was deemed that Reinhardt would sacrifice himself to the sport on the Sabbath.

MMA Gonzo caught with Rodrigo (Reinhardt’s 4th inner-companion) and this is what he had to say:

“It was a grizzly scene. Most fighters would say that most of the work preparing for a fight happens in the gym but with Jason, it is all happening upstairs. Now I can’t release the details of that floor plan because it would disrupt the eco-system we have here but do you know who M.C. Escher is?”

After 15 minutes of conversation on “Artistic Illusions” we finally got back to the subject at hand.

“Make no bones about it; Jason knew what was needed of him. The burden of coming into a fight you are going to lose is tough enough but when you put the entire burden of the sport on your shoulders, well that becomes an entirely different issue. I co-signed on the religious motivations only because I was forced to by the other occupants. They figured since the card fell on Sunday it was all something they could support. I normally wouldn’t push this agenda because I’m an atheist.”

Knowing the road ahead of him was grim; Reinhardt entered the ring and prepared for the pain that was to come. His suffering would not be quick, nor would it be drawn out, simply one and a half rounds of beating served fresh from the hands and feet of Brazilian upstart Edwin Figueroa. After the crowd cried for mercy and the referee stopped the one-sided violence, his task was finished. Wild eyes now wobbled, Reinhardt knew his “mision para Dios” had been completed. He shuffled back to his corner, mumbled to his inner-counsel and made the long march back to obscurity.

Rodrigo added, “No one will ever know what Jason did for the sport. Well they might because I’m giving this interview but I’m pretty sure that nobody believes anything I say anyways.”

A martyr of MMA or a bottom tier fighter with psychological issues?

You make the call — but don’t you dare call him crazy.

Tagged , , , , , ,