A recent study of Mixed Martial Arts message boards has revealed a shocking statistic that has the International Organization of Physicists questioning the very nature of existence. The group said that the data, which indicates that Russian heavyweight Fedor Emelianenko is simultaneously viewed as both the most “underrated and overrated fighter in the history of the violent young sport,” has no parallel in the time tested tradition of scientific exploration.
In a statement released today the group declared the polarizing results are “virtually undeniable proof that there is no higher power.”
“It is this organization’s consensual view that any and all attempts to rectify this level of self-delusion with a higher being or “God” would shatter the entire foundation of not only physics but what is collectively viewed as the metaphysically tangible world. While great philosophers have pondered the nature of mankind’s existence throughout time, at least the question of a higher power can be finally put to rest,” the group said from a prepared statement posted on their website.
While the Institute’s statistical modeling filled three volumes of last month’s Journal of Physics, researchers were alarmed that the incredible results were being totally ignored by the media and public-at-large.
“It’s almost like if it didn’t happen in the U.F.C. then it didn’t happen at all,” said a scientist associated with the research who wished to remain unidentified.