Monthly Archives: December 2011

Upcoming UFC on FX event to be presented “By Rape”

In a shocking move today UFC owner Lorenzo Fertitta stepped in from behind the scenes and finally broke silence about the Dana White vs. Miguel Torres Twitter Rape-Gate scandal, and the Zuffa head honcho had more than just kind words for the former WEC Bantamweight champ.

Fertitta told MMA Gonzo that not only would Torres be instated in the UFC immediately, but the former 135-pound kingpin would co-headline a special UFC on FX card sponsored by the Rape industry.

Have you heard the one about the Nun and the Priest?

“Dana kind of dropped the ball on this one,” Fertitta told MMA Gonzo pool side at the Palms Casino. “Rape can be funny.

I mean, you can’t just go up to girls and scream ‘I’m going to rape you!’ or ‘Remember when I raped you? Wasn’t that awesome!’  But alluding to it comically isn’t necessarily a punch-line death sentence. Not to mention Miguel was referencing “Always Sunny on Philadelphia,” Fertitta explained.

“I’ve been on the phone with the Rape people, and to make it up to them and Miguel, we’re going to host a special one-night live  UFC on FX event sponsored by Rape.”

MMA Gonzo confirmed with various UFC sources that the aforementioned fight card will feature the aforementioned featherweight in a co-main event match-up  with an opponent yet-to-be determined and is tentatively scheduled to take place June 9th in Anaheim.

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Rampage looking to return to Pride-era form

In a recent press conference in advance of UFC 144,  Quinton “Rampage” Jackson hinted that a return to Japan might reinvigorate his fighting style:

“One thing I love about the Japanese fans and why I love them the most out of everybody is because they don’t care if you win or lose,” Jackson said. “That’s why Japanese fans are my favorite. American fans are jealous that I say that all the time. In America, you’re under so much pressure to win and win at any cost. … In Japan it’s just a different energy and stuff like that, so who knows, I may take more chances and not care, because it’s all about the crowd.”

Godzilla aint got shit on me!

MMA Gonzo has learned from a source close to Jackson, that the former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion will also be returning to his old Pride form, electing not to seriously train for his upcoming UFC 144 tilt against Ryan Bader.

“Page is looking to go full samurai for this one, just like the old days,” the source explained, “and that means no training, just like the old days.”

“When he power-bombed Arona? He was on a three-day sushi and energy-drink bender,” the source continued. “I know it’s crazy, but for Page it works – most of the time. He took it a little too far against Sakuraba, thought he actually was Godzilla all the way to the ring.”

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